When Someone You Love Dies

Halloween will forever be a hard day for our family.

Mike Boulware, AKA Papa B (my father in law) was facing the challenge of his life. Terminal cancer. Our family knew that he was nearing the end of his journey here on earth. We just didn’t know when. We had just spent some quality time in Mike’s presence and we were trusting God with the time he had left.

Our family dressed up for Halloween and got ready for some much needed quality time with our friends.

Then we got the call, Mike had passed away.

Nothing prepares you for that call, ever.

Intense pain, mixed with relief is how I felt. I knew Papa B was in heaven with sweet Jesus, and in no more pain, but the void I felt in my heart was indescribable. Then, the pain I felt for my husband and in-laws was just unbearable.

If you are struggling with grief right now I first want to tell you, you are not alone. I once heard losing someone is like losing a limb. You will never be the same, but you will learn to live differently. We have lived differently since losing Mike.

We take our time on earth more seriously.

We are more present with our loved ones.

We don’t take for granted the time we have with our loved ones.

We understand time is a gift.

We see life in the light of eternity.

I want to end today by teaching you some things Mike taught me that I believe will help you when someone you love dies. I had the honor of speaking at his celebration of life. In the message, I leave you things that he taught me about overcoming fear, plus many beautiful life lessons. I highly encourage you to check it out here:

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Lastly, Mike spoke at a Fearless event shortly after he was diagnosed with cancer. To this date, his message about the highs and lows of life (the starfish analogy) have stayed with men and women all over the world. I promise if you are looking for encouragement, you need to take 15 minutes to listen to this message.

If you are walking through a season of grief or know someone who is, I want to share this exceptional resource with you. My dear friend and teammate, Shaunna, wrote a vulnerable message on the fear of losing someone, including a faq on grief support. Please read it for more encouragement on the subject.

With love,